it's a blog eat blog world

I recieved this sms form someone:

"Sunday went to Monday to see Tuesday and ask Wednesday whether Thursday has told Friday that Saturday is NEW YEAR???
Advance Happy New Year to you!!!"

o_O

As promised, yesterday i went to an audition at this place called "Backstage" which was looking for "live" artists.

How did i find this place?

Well, i looked in the papers under "Temp Jobs" lor.. Then when i was there, i told the lady that i was looking for a temp job and she said what must have interest and this is not a temp job or what... So crap.

Anyway, i was told to prepare a song and bring a photo, so i took an IC sized photo that looks damn fugly.

My eyes are different sized and i look too pinkish. Urgh...

Anyway, the song that i wanted to sing was Michael Buble's Sway, but then again, i sounded like a drag after i heard my own voice which i recorded on my very own

Muvohahahahahahaha...

So at the very very last minute (right at the doorstep of the studio), i switched the song to Clay Aiken's This is the Night.

Blah... The woman say i sound too classy, have poor diction, don't sound POPish enough... I can't do Popish anymore... Everytahm i hit high notes, i automatically switch to using headtone. I can't do the nasalness of irritating boybands .

But she shortlisted me to come down to another round of auditions next week for her big boss anyway.

But i'm not planning to go anymore cos apparently its a scam.

Bendini, Glenn and Jaja went for this thingy before, and they passed the first round of auditions only to be told that they need to attend some training shite that costs, oh, not much, only like $500.




SCAMMERS! When the woman calls me next week, i shall tell her that i don't think i'm suitable for this sort of "live" performances.

The woman actually said that they wanted to venture into the getai business... I was like stunned... Like, LOL lor...




This has nothing to do with the stuff above.

I was looking through my past photos and i thought this one really rocked!

Anyone wants to hire freelance photographer?

I'm kidding la. I'm so lousy. But i really like this shot, although the merlion's nose touching the edge...




Another no link part.

I'm gonna spend New Year's Eve at home today... I'm gonna count down towards 2005 at home with family this year.

Nono... I'm not VERY filial or stuff...

I'm just sian of going out so much, bored of going clubbing, squeezing with the crowd, getting drunk and dancing. Most importantly, I'm DAMN LAZY to go out today la...

I shall hole myself up at home and read... Anyway, Shuhui, I WANT MY PRESENT!!! Haha... We meet someday for dinner or sth k? Hee...

Anyway, to everyone out there,
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be patient...
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reaching liao...
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Happy 2005!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!~!~!

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Yea... Whatever, I'll update you guys on this silly audition i went to that turns out to be something like a scam according to Bendini and Glenn, who have went for it before..

I had my first ever job in my whole entire existence today......



It sucked.




It's an advertising cum charity campaign for this company called DynamoAsia* which markets itself as being very "hip and funky", but all i felt was that i was back in VS following some lame ass cheer...

What exactly do i mean?



Well, they actually have team cheers.

It sorta goes like this;

"Tell me tell me who's the best,
D-R-E-A-M-S.
Tell me tell me who will win,
D-R-E-A-M-S.
Dunno what blabber blabber,
Dreams.
Dunno what blabber blabber,
Dreams.
Ohhhhhhh, DREAMS ASIA!"

Like HUH?!?!?!? Someone please tell me that there is no "VS spirit" in the company... Urgh...

And so, they tell us more about the job...

The job is like you have to interact with others to sell


that act as sort of an advertisement for these four newly opened restaurants and at the same time helps out in 2 charity organisations, namely the "We-sharecare Children and Youths Society" and the "Physically Disabled People".

So its like even before i learnt anything, they gave me 3 booklets of those vouchers containing 50 vouchers each and apparently i had to sell them la... At first, they made it sound so simple by saying, "Oh, if you sell the first and second booklet, its $20 each and the subsequent booklets are $25 each."

Later, i realised that it was like physically impossible to even get to the second booklet la... Climbing up and down countless flight of stairs DO make your legs ache horribly you know...

Anyway, i decided that i didn't wanna go back to that stupid job anymore... They don't even have basic pay. I slogged my guts out from 10am till 7pm and all i got for my trouble was what?

EMOTIONAL TRAUMA OF SEEING COUNTLESS OF PEOPLE SLAM THEIR DOORS IN MY FACE WHEN THEY HEAR THE WORD "CHARITY" OR EVEN "VOUCHER"!

I mean, c'mon la, just smile and refuse politely la! What's with the "get-away-from-my-front-door-or-i'll-set-my-dogs-on-you" attidude man?!?!

However, there's quite nice people out there! There was this vegetarian auntie, who had no use for these vouchers as all of them are food vouchers at restaurants, but she donated $10 anyway but didn't wanna take any vouchers! Another lady was very interested in what i was doing and she kept praising my fluent pitching skills (like the sales pitch. Geddit?) and that i must have been doing this for a long time. When i told her that this was my first day of my first ever job, she was quite shocked! Haha! She even gave me chocs!

The nice lady gave me a chocolate bar! Yay!

Wanna hear my sales pitch?



Yes you do.



It goes something like this:

"Hi Sir/Madam, Merry X'mas to you, my name is Junyi and i'm here for this project called "Food For Thought" which comprises of 4 restaurants that have come together for this voucher. Now this voucher costs only $2 but you can actually get a total of $35 discount at these restaurants. Whats more, when you purchase a voucher, you are also helping to donate to 2 charity organisations, mainly the Physically Disabled Association and the Children and Youths fund. Now, these children are very poor thing as from a young age, they were orphaned and also suffer from many bodily illnesses like Cancer or Leukemia and need money for their Education and Medical fees. Sir/Madam, if you would kindly purchase maybe one or two of this vouchers, you not only can have great food at low prices, you are also doing your bit for charity."

At this point, pause to take a breath and to let the customers respond. You might think that i have said alot and that it would take a long time, but the trick is to speak very fast and not to let the customers have ANY time to refuse. My dirty move was to emphasize on how ke lian the children are and how poor and helpless they can be. Thats what's gonna get people to fork out the moolah baby!!!

MUAHAHAHAHA! Evil me! I rock man! I shall go to other customer service jobs armed with this experience that i've gained.



For a day.




Cos i just quitted.




MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

The job sucks and there's no basic pay and my legs ache and i have to face the fury of crazy barking dogs and crazy barking old women.

Anyway, the girl that i was doing this shit with was called Valerie and she's also like me, feeling disdain for the job... So we paka and she helped me finish my last 20 vouchers so that i can at least get a measly $20 for my hard day of work man. (No, 20 vouchers doesn't equate to $20. 50 vouchers equates to $20.)

I now have a new friend! *waves HI, even though she wouldn't see this anytime soon*

Alright... I've finally let everything out... Now i just pray that the people at DynamoAsia* do not get to read this or i'm dead. I told the team leader that my auntie called me over to her tuition agency to work. Haha...


Its a half lie.



My auntie really owns a tuition agency.

Muahahahaha.

(Psssst... *names have been changed to protect the identity of the company... and of cos to protect me.)

(Second Pssst... I do actually have 4 of those vouchers with me... Anyone wants them, cantact me or tag here ok? They go from a dollar fifty to free, depending on how close u are to me... Hehe...)

OK i'm kidding, i'll give them away! Just don't waste them... Can go makan New Year dinner with your boyfriend/girlfriend...

A fat elf wishing you guys out there a

Merry Christmas

and a

Happy New Year!!!

Something just got revealed to me, and i'm freaking shocked.

All i'm gonna say is.............

OMG.

I'm going shopping with my dearest girlfriend, CKW, tomorrow and i'm so excited. Muahaha...

I'm gonna shop till i drop...........

With a grand sum of fifty dollars in my wallet...

I'm so dead... I need that Edusave money NOW!


Hmmmm... Not enough emphasis...



I NEED THAT EDUSAVE MONEY








NOW!








*thunderous roar causing earth to shake and sky to fall*


Yaaaaa... That sort of does it... And i rhymed...


Speaking of shopping, don't you get the Christmassy feeling whenever you walk down Orchard and see the nice nice lights on the trees and the four shaking Christmas trees at the road junction of Heeren and Cine?



Well, i don't.



I think the lights are boring and the figurines are passe (except maybe for those reindeer made of fake green leaves which are damn cute). And don't even mention those hideouly shaking monstrosities that pass off as Christmas trees... My world, its like Santa's lil' elves are having an orgy party in there.

I'm just not feeling Christmas this year...

But all i want for Christmas is yoooouuuu...



(No, i don't want her for Christmas you buffoons...)

Others can blog without pics, so can i...

I'm bored outta my wits... Everytime i stay at home, i get this overwhelming surge of lethargy and thus become too lazy to do anything, go anywhere etc...

Anyway, the past few days have been hectic, to say the least, but i'm a procrastinator and 'lazy' is my middle name, so i'm just gonna ramble about nothing in particular.

*ramble ramble ramble ramble ramble*

Oh ya, went job-hunting with Mabel and Jessica (I just met "Jelly" today). It was fun la... First we went to this advertising agency thingy, and the person pretty much made it clear that we got the job and we just had to go down for training on the 27th Dec, but i doubt any of us will be going for it. Hehe.

Then, there was this Robinsons warehouse sale thingy that was looking for cashiers and packers and those crap cheap labour kind. I didn't wanna go, but i filled in the form for fun anyway. With Mab's BIG PURPLE marker. From what i heard, the person collecting the forms was shocked at my graffiti. i was practically colouring the form purple.

There was one Tuition thingy that Mab was quite keen to sign up for, at Golden Mile Complex. But the weird thing was that the address that we went to didn't have a sign or anything. It was just a locked door with 0820 on it. So weird. Then we knocked and there was nothing and when we were about to leave, this quirky woman opened the door. She was sianned by my NS thingy but was so into Mabel and Jessica cos they're smart and most importantly, they don't have NS. BAH.

Then i accompanied the girls to some modelling thingy at Singapore Shopping Centre. At first, i just wanted to go in with them to see see, but the butchy woman asked me to fill in the form cos they needed male models... WTF... I was quite stunned... I mean, can you imagine me MODELLING?!?!?! But it turned out that we had to pay like $188 for some portfolio shite and so too bad.. Muahaha... I had some fantasies a la America's Next Top Model at first man... Like the awkward Mercedes pose which made her look like she had the sun in her eyes and a terrible tummy ache, but the judges went KRAZY over the picture. "WHOA, Mercedes, we always thought you looked too commercial, but this picture totally spells HIGH FASHION baby..." Ya right, i can do high fashion too... Just down a few bowls of curry and i'd be having that pose...

*ramble ramble ramble ramble*

Wah seh... I'm pissed... My mother got this new cheapo Nokia free phone and wanted me to set setings... I told her i dunno, cos her demands are like specific, then she kao pei say what ask me to do things will die...

THEN JUST DIE LA...

*fumes*

I'm rambling so much crap... Ahhhhh... Feels good typing rubbish once in a while... You don't have to read this shite... I'll forgive you... Maybe you can read about the modelling thing cos i thought it was damn funny... Ah heck, you guys better read the entire entry or i'll screw you. Not literally of course.

I'll use a dildo.

Alvin said dildo's are expensive. His class wanted to buy a dildo as wwsnbn's (inside joke, eh Mab) birthday present, but they went into the condom place and the dildos are like over 200 buckeroos... He said she could have a lifetime supply of cucumbers... And she can eat them after she *ahem*...

Eurgh... Cucumbers are damn thick la.

I miss KW~! Why come back from Lydia Sum country then so fast go what camp le... Hurmph! Better read this and contact me... Or else... But then again, knowing him, he'll see this entry and get sianned of reading it, thus effectively not reading this paragraph... Nvm, i shall do this...

CKW!!! Read the above paragraph!!!

Alright, that should do it...

Siannnnnnnnn, i'm really crapping huh... Argh, i shall stop!

HEY! You guys wanna hear a joke?

Yea?

Yea?

OK, here goes...
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JOKE!

...


Ok, i'm kidding... You wanna hear a real joke?

I've got Edusave and Good Progress awards for doing well...

Wait... FOR WHAT?!?!







BAH!

I think i should blog to show that i'm still alive...
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NAH~!

I'll show you bananas instead...

It's a sick shade of pink ain't it?

I'm so behind on blogging on prom that i can't be bothered to type out a proper entry anymore.

Here's some of the photos i took, there's more, if you ask nicely...

And wait for them to load.

OR ELSE.

The morning of Prom day when we had to go back to school to take our testimonials and prom tickets:


In the Pan Pacific hotel room before prom:



Outside the ballroom before prom:

The Singapore Idiots are at it again. Acting all cool as a cucumber, but Daniel really out did everyone. He even wore the waistcoat la!

Don't i look like some Malaysian Tunku? Jian Qiang looks damn cool.

Jean and me. She's our Hero!

In the Ballroom:

Its Ritz Carlton, look at the friggin' table!

The guys! Without Kevin, but whats new? Anyone noticed that i stick out like a sore thumb?


Kit, me and Shuhui, looking all pretty. Not me, them.


The guys, with Kit, Shuhui and Cassie! Look at the cheapo M1 plastic bags we were given as goddie bags. There wasn't a single M1 related item inside.

Post prom activities:

KTV-ing with Rachel, Darren, Daniel, JQ, GC, YL and me.


Its back to the hotel room with good ole PS2 games.

Ok now thats ALOT of photos. Had fun waiting for them all to load? *sniggers*

I've got bad news people.

It's worse than Olinda not being Singapore Idol.

It's worse than not having a job from now till March.

It's worse than having your father owe you a thousand bucks.

It's definately much worse than being broke during Christmas.
































I've sprained my back.

Everyone together now,

AWWWWWWWWWW, you poor thing...

I thought telling people i sprained my back would make me sound slightly sporty, but as it turns out, it seems to make me sound OBESE and UNHEALTHY.

How did i sprain my back you ask?

Well, i did not sprain it by trying to bend over (Thank you Jean), i did it by playing tennis.

Quick! I hear the gasp of amazement.

"Tennis! He actually does sports?!?! I thought all he does was sitting on his behind thinking of ways to get fit by overeating and sleeping."

Sorry to burst your bubble guys... I do actually exercise. Although it doesn't show.

I'm a spastic procrastinator... Now i've got prom AND choir bbq to update about. Not mentioning other misc stuff to blog about. BAH!

Wah... I've got overwhelming responses to the pornopony thing... Muahaha...

Lets compile the results.

2/12: Colin.

4/12: Me, Yan Liang, Mablerine, Hui Shan, Alvin, Scott.

5/12: Mabel, Edith, Jeannie(Haha.. Why you keep following me around town?!?! Kidding...)

6/12: Chloe, Jian Qiang. (Tsk tsk... You guys passed... What are you pro at? Porn or Ponies?)

I guess 4/12 is the mode? Correct? I dun take maths.

EVERYONE! IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

Go -->HERE<-- now!

Do the test and tell me your scores... Yan Liang, Mablerine and me got 4 out of 12... Coincidence?

Try it everyone, and tell me your scores! Tag it at my tagboard!

Man, i just had a disturbing thought...

I was looking at my desktop wallpaper, which happenes to be The Incredibles.

So as i was looking at Elastigirl/Mrs Incredible/Helen Parr, i thought of the scene where she looking into the mirror at her hips and sighed cos it was gargantuan.

And i thought to myself, "Her hips are huge cos she gave birth to 3 kids already." (At this point of time, i can imagine Mrs Toh, my GP tutor, saying, "Don't use 'kids', they're children, not goats.")

Suddenly, i thought to myself that she must have had an easy birth.

Dunno why?

You're dense.





















Its cos she's Elasticgirl la, can stretch what...

Prom's over, had fun. Shall blog about it another tahm... Have to leave house soon...