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I had my first ever job in my whole entire existence today......



It sucked.




It's an advertising cum charity campaign for this company called DynamoAsia* which markets itself as being very "hip and funky", but all i felt was that i was back in VS following some lame ass cheer...

What exactly do i mean?



Well, they actually have team cheers.

It sorta goes like this;

"Tell me tell me who's the best,
D-R-E-A-M-S.
Tell me tell me who will win,
D-R-E-A-M-S.
Dunno what blabber blabber,
Dreams.
Dunno what blabber blabber,
Dreams.
Ohhhhhhh, DREAMS ASIA!"

Like HUH?!?!?!? Someone please tell me that there is no "VS spirit" in the company... Urgh...

And so, they tell us more about the job...

The job is like you have to interact with others to sell


that act as sort of an advertisement for these four newly opened restaurants and at the same time helps out in 2 charity organisations, namely the "We-sharecare Children and Youths Society" and the "Physically Disabled People".

So its like even before i learnt anything, they gave me 3 booklets of those vouchers containing 50 vouchers each and apparently i had to sell them la... At first, they made it sound so simple by saying, "Oh, if you sell the first and second booklet, its $20 each and the subsequent booklets are $25 each."

Later, i realised that it was like physically impossible to even get to the second booklet la... Climbing up and down countless flight of stairs DO make your legs ache horribly you know...

Anyway, i decided that i didn't wanna go back to that stupid job anymore... They don't even have basic pay. I slogged my guts out from 10am till 7pm and all i got for my trouble was what?

EMOTIONAL TRAUMA OF SEEING COUNTLESS OF PEOPLE SLAM THEIR DOORS IN MY FACE WHEN THEY HEAR THE WORD "CHARITY" OR EVEN "VOUCHER"!

I mean, c'mon la, just smile and refuse politely la! What's with the "get-away-from-my-front-door-or-i'll-set-my-dogs-on-you" attidude man?!?!

However, there's quite nice people out there! There was this vegetarian auntie, who had no use for these vouchers as all of them are food vouchers at restaurants, but she donated $10 anyway but didn't wanna take any vouchers! Another lady was very interested in what i was doing and she kept praising my fluent pitching skills (like the sales pitch. Geddit?) and that i must have been doing this for a long time. When i told her that this was my first day of my first ever job, she was quite shocked! Haha! She even gave me chocs!

The nice lady gave me a chocolate bar! Yay!

Wanna hear my sales pitch?



Yes you do.



It goes something like this:

"Hi Sir/Madam, Merry X'mas to you, my name is Junyi and i'm here for this project called "Food For Thought" which comprises of 4 restaurants that have come together for this voucher. Now this voucher costs only $2 but you can actually get a total of $35 discount at these restaurants. Whats more, when you purchase a voucher, you are also helping to donate to 2 charity organisations, mainly the Physically Disabled Association and the Children and Youths fund. Now, these children are very poor thing as from a young age, they were orphaned and also suffer from many bodily illnesses like Cancer or Leukemia and need money for their Education and Medical fees. Sir/Madam, if you would kindly purchase maybe one or two of this vouchers, you not only can have great food at low prices, you are also doing your bit for charity."

At this point, pause to take a breath and to let the customers respond. You might think that i have said alot and that it would take a long time, but the trick is to speak very fast and not to let the customers have ANY time to refuse. My dirty move was to emphasize on how ke lian the children are and how poor and helpless they can be. Thats what's gonna get people to fork out the moolah baby!!!

MUAHAHAHAHA! Evil me! I rock man! I shall go to other customer service jobs armed with this experience that i've gained.



For a day.




Cos i just quitted.




MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

The job sucks and there's no basic pay and my legs ache and i have to face the fury of crazy barking dogs and crazy barking old women.

Anyway, the girl that i was doing this shit with was called Valerie and she's also like me, feeling disdain for the job... So we paka and she helped me finish my last 20 vouchers so that i can at least get a measly $20 for my hard day of work man. (No, 20 vouchers doesn't equate to $20. 50 vouchers equates to $20.)

I now have a new friend! *waves HI, even though she wouldn't see this anytime soon*

Alright... I've finally let everything out... Now i just pray that the people at DynamoAsia* do not get to read this or i'm dead. I told the team leader that my auntie called me over to her tuition agency to work. Haha...


Its a half lie.



My auntie really owns a tuition agency.

Muahahahaha.

(Psssst... *names have been changed to protect the identity of the company... and of cos to protect me.)

(Second Pssst... I do actually have 4 of those vouchers with me... Anyone wants them, cantact me or tag here ok? They go from a dollar fifty to free, depending on how close u are to me... Hehe...)

OK i'm kidding, i'll give them away! Just don't waste them... Can go makan New Year dinner with your boyfriend/girlfriend...